36 Questions to Help You Fall In Love

How can you get someone to fall in love with you?

Since we live in reality, wishing on a star, making a love potion and pheromones like those used by the DC villain Poison Ivy are at best unreliable and at worst completely impossible.

So that’s it then, right? Thanks for reading, come again and all that jazz!

No, no, no. That is most certainly not it.

Believe it or not there is a way that you could get someone to fall in love with you, and all you have to do is set aside some time with them and ask them a few questions. 36 questions to be exact, and it takes about an hour to use this method effectively.

This real-life love spell includes asking your potential lover questions such as “When did you last sing to yourself?” “How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” and “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?”. You know, just the normal kind of stuff that would be asked during a psychological study. But I am assuming that you don’t want to run a psychological study on your date, or maybe you do and if that is the case then you do you. If you did, then you would actually be using these questions for what they were originally designed to be: a psychological study of another person.

The 36 Questions are:

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  16. What do you value most in a friendship?
  17. What is your most treasured memory?
  18. What is your most terrible memory?
  19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  20. What does friendship mean to you?
  21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
  25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
  26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
  27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
  28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that you have to follow up asking and answering all of these questions with staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes straight. You might be thinking ‘That’s no big deal. Four minutes isn’t that long of a span of time.’ Okay. Take out your phone and set a timer for four minutes, then sit still and stare at the wall. After you’ve finished trying to psychically stare a hole in the wall, tell me you wouldn’t find that same silent exchange to be incredibly awkward if you did it with another person. You can find the directions and complete list of questions on the 36 Questions In Love website.

If you do try out this method and, in the process of asking people when the last time they cried in front of another person was while staring at each other for longer than it takes to microwave a breakfast sandwich, you find your soulmate— then congratulations! I wish you the best in your future as a couple!


Story By: Carlee Jo Blumenthal
Photo Courtesy of: Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash