A Beige Colored Nightmare: “The Bachelor” Round-Up

Could Arie Luyendyk Jr. be more boring?  The man described both Fort Lauderdale and Paris, France the same way: “It’s cool, it’s sexy”… well, so is a vocabulary better than a fourteen-year-old’s diary

Week seven of ABC’s season 22 of ”The Bachelor” took the contestants to Paris, France.

The first one-on-one date of the week took Lauren B. and Luyendyk on a walk through the streets of Paris.  This walk was silent and awkward as Lauren only ever opened her mouth a half-dozen times to whisper “Wow” as Luyendyk pointed out different things or tried to start conversations.

At the and of the evening, Lauren stated she thought her main struggle was she hadn’t opened up enough to Arie.  Luyendyk stated he really wanted his relationship with her to work.

Why?  We’ve seen these two talk once. Who really cares at this point if this non-relationship ends?

Regardless, Luyendyk decided to open up first, telling Lauren and the camera about how he was once living with his girlfriend who had two children from a previous relationship, and how she was also pregnant with his child.  This relationship ended while Luyendyk was away racing. His girlfriend lost the child and called him saying when he got back, she would not be there.

Why in the world have we been hearing about Luyendyk’s ”Bachelorette” fail?

After this, Lauren felt that it was her turn to share, opening up about her failed and abusive engagement along with being in the middle of her parents rocky marriage ruining her trust, faith in men and love in general.

At the end of the evening, Lauren received a rose.

Then, it was time for the group date with Bekah M., Becca K., Tia, Sienne, Chelsea and Jenna.

This was nothing but a thong and dance show (yes, you read that correctly) at Le Moulin Rouge.  Luyendyk found another excuse to watch the ladies dance around in nothing more than thongs and feathers.

This exercise was in order to win the rose which would allow one contestant to perform with Luyendyk on stage later that night.

After the “dancing,” there was a quick cocktail party. Bekah M. got the rose based on her “connection” with Luyendyk.

Next was the infamous two-on-one date.  Krystal and Kendall headed to the French countryside to meet Luyendyk at a chateau.

First, we must cover how Luyendyk again displayed his lameness by seeing a painting of a lute and calling it a “ukulele.”

Luyendyk said that this was Krystal’s second chance after last week’s fiasco.

After a weird date where he told Kendall and Krystal to find him in a maze, Luyendyk had what is possibly his first “adult” moment on the show. He told Krystal he would always want her to come to him first with issues.

This was preceded by Krystal going into a long and breathy rewind of her feelings and excuses.  Luyendyk bought this, saying he thought she was sincere.

But don’t worry, Krystal did ruin herself by ending this conversation with a sabotage attempt on Kendall, saying she didn’t know if she was ready for commitment and marriage.  

Of course Luyendyk later told Kendell what Krystal said and then left them alone together.

This was the point where Kendell showed how articulate and poised she was by confronting Krystal.   

Kendall sat down next to Krystal and said that she knows Krystal says hurtful things when she feels she is back up against a wall. Kendall also said that she, however, can empathise with Krystal, because she dated someone once with the same personality, and counseled  Krystal that saying the most hurtful thing doesn’t mean you win.

This moment had an exclamation point put on it when we found Krystal completely without words.

At the end of the night, Kendall received the two-on-one date rose.

Jacqueline had the final date. Luyendyk watched her pick out a new outfit and then took her to dinner.

The conversation of this date revolved around the main issue (not really an issue, lets be honest) of Jacqueline planning on getting a PhD, and how Luyendyk was afraid that she was to smart for him and he would hold her back.

At the end of this maddening and weirdly chauvinistic conversation, Luyendyk said, “I don’t really see her ambition as a hindrance.  It’s just another obstacle to get through together.”

Then, it was finally the rose ceremony.

Tia, Sienne and Becca K. received roses.

It was also revealed that week seven will take the contestants to Tuscany.

My prediction is that in week seven, Jacqueline will find Luyendyk’s lack of enthusiasm  over her education and dreams as a sign, and excuse herself from the competition.

Someone is definitely getting wasted in wine country, and Lauren B. will find her voice, confidence and personality surprising all of us and Luyendyk.

Story by
Savannah Palmer for SUU News

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