Call me an engagement grinch or a murderer of love if you will but in this season of many engagements I have a little advice: make the moment special by not inviting an audience!
I recently had a roommate get engaged and it was beautiful and romantic and, I thought, somewhat spoiled by the fact that there was a whole crowd on onlookers hiding in the bushes.
It was weird.
Now, I understand that this is a very big moment in a couple’s lives and they desperately want an Instagram worthy photo but in the big production of it all, it seems like some of the magic is lost. I get it, in this day and age we all want photos and videos to post to social media so we can lap up all the attention from well-wishers near and far but at what cost?
I felt like I was intruding on a very special and intimate moment in their relationship as they are there committing to begin planning the rest of their lives together and honestly I was.
As far as I’m concerned, not every moment of our lives need to be specially documented in the internet archives – we don’t exist solely to give the little garden trolls that live there something to do every moment of every day – it’s okay to let them take a nap.
My roommate’s fiance consulted me as her best friend to help him with some of the planning and coordination to make the entire night special and I didn’t have a problem with that. This was totally okay, girls talk about things like this and I knew exactly how she wanted it to go down.
I was more than happy to help him make this night the best one ever, I just didn’t need to be there to see it.
I think it would have been perfectly acceptable, and even more special for them to have had that genuine moment all to themselves and have us all meet up with them after the deed was done to pose for pictures. The joy is not going to be any less genuine by waiting thirty minutes to document it.
In fact, I think it would have been more special for them had it been done like that rather than having camera flashes blinding them every two seconds: trying to get that perfect shot while they’re trying to make a special moment. Said flashes made them trip over a root and go sprawling in the dirt, so I rest my case – the pictures can wait.
Now, I’m sure they remember a little differently because they are very much in love and fully obsessed with each other as they well should be, but I can’t help but feel that that night should have been much more focused on them and the expression of their love and dedication to one another rather than the production of the perfect new profile photo.
By being there, we took the chance to savor the moment away because we were so busy trying to commemorate it that we squashed it dead.
So, the way I see it, if having that picture is so important it can be restaged – like I said, that joy isn’t going to fade and the emotions will still be absolutely real. Plus, you will then get to relive the moment and increase the joy without losing out on the significance of the moment.
Story by: Alexis J. Taylor
Photo by: Rachel Pfuetzner on Unsplash.com