@KaleSalad: Our Hero

Since Twitter’s inception in 2006, people have been using the platform for funny tweets, and since the dawn of time, people have been ripping off hilarious jokes and getting way more credit for it, so it makes sense that since Twitter began, people have been ripping off hilarious tweets and getting way more credit for them.

The Amy Schumers of Twitter are abundant and vicious. Accounts like @Dory, @GirlPosts and @FreddyAmazin have racked up followers in the millions. @Dory, one of the most notorious tweet stealers of all time, has 2.32 million followers.

They steal from each other too. This tweet was on @FreddyAmazin and @Dory: 



It becomes more frustrating when your Twitter timeline becomes diluted with this. I will have several different people I follow all retweet the same tweets from several different accounts.

But what I can imagine is even more frustrating is watching a behemoth of an account steal your tweet, and then watching your own notifications slow while their tweet only gets more and more likes.

For example, this tweet was stolen by @GirlPosts:


But was originally tweeted by @ugsadkid:


You might notice that this is a success story; tired’s tweet has way more than @GirlPosts. We can accredit this success to our hero, the Twitter Lord has who come to our rescue, saving us from the dastardly plagiarizers.

I’m speaking of the one and only @kalesalad.

@kalesalad is our Twitter hero; our knight in shining armor. @kalesalad retweets the original tweets, helping out the poor soul who went viral only for the awful meme accounts to take their glory.

Compared to these large monsters, @kalesalad is a small account, with only 116k followers. And @kalesalad needs our help. They rarely tweet things themselves, so they rely on the goodness of humanity to let them grow and crush @Dory under foot.

So if you are sick and tired of seeing stolen tweet after stolen tweet roll across your timeline, retweeted by “friends” who don’t care, who think @Dory is amazing and tweet at celebrities more often than is comfortable, follow in my footsteps, and give praise to our brave soldier.

I hate @Dory. I implore, each and every reader of this here University Journal, denounce our evil idols, block @Dory, block @GirlPosts and @FreddyAmazin.

Follow @kalesalad. Bathe in its goodness. Get them the followers they deserve.

And rejoice; for today, we wage war on the meme-stealers.


Story by
Andrew Leavitt